I wonder how many women are actually content with their breast size and shape. I have one friend who is very satisfied with hers. And I’m happy for her. She is as amply proportioned as I yet she adores ‘the girls’. Whereas I have a drastic plan for mine. So many women I know are in either of three camps; too big, not big enough or not perky enough.

I mean I’m much in favour of body positivity and loving what I have. And maybe if my boobs were not affecting my health perhaps I could learn to love them given more time. Haven’t got too far on that to date but miracles can happen I guess.

I re-embarked on the dubious experience of online dating at the weekend. My reasons for this will no doubt materialise as another post in the next few days when I’ve processed events a little more. It’s an emotional roller coaster for sure. You think, naively, that someone is interested in you, you’re chatting away and everything seems to be going swimmingly, when bam! You’re dropped from a height.

I was talking with a gent, attractive, articulate and rather keen, when it came up in conversation that I have been advised to get my breasts reduced. Now I understand that a woman’s breasts are important to a man, but I didn’t expect to be rejected quite so readily for solely this reason. I did enquire as to the nature of his sudden silence and his response left me open mouthed. He couldn’t (quote) understand why I would get rid of half my assets and the main thing that attracted him to me. Because spiting a man I’d never crossed paths with was obviously the sole reason for deciding to willingly put myself under the knife and my own well being at risk. Potentially. Of course. I don’t have an eye roll adequate for this exchange. I replied I was disappointed it wasn’t my sparkling wit that had attracted him and wished him good luck. He sure as hell is going to need it!

I’m just frustrated I can’t have the surgery now. I am including a little picture of what the weight of my breasts has done to my shoulder this evening. And that pales into insignificance when we consider the effect on my spine. My already compromised spine.

Any guy who feels the need to mourn the loss of my excess boobage should seriously be made to wear a bra with realistic size and weight H cup breast replicas. If such a thing exists. For the rest of his life. Or longer.