Known as Angel because of my background in nursing / care work, looking out for everyone else, my Christian Faith and my beautiful(!) singing voice.
The Pink Palace is the name given to my bedroom by a friend. My intense love of pink, and objects of said colour, is renowned.
I have long used creative writing to express myself, often at the most difficult times of my life.
I have had two long episodes of depression in my adult life, both characterised by severe rapid cycling of mood, both high and low, however, it has only recently been identified as symptoms of Bipolar II. I also suffer with anxiety, primarily during depression, but not exclusively so. I have ongoing issues with separation, loss and change due to the unsettled nature of my childhood, and a succession of significant losses and bereavements in recent years.
Much of my life has been spent caring for others, both informally and as a career. I have done stints in dementia care, acute mental illness, general nursing and childcare (1-4 years). I have also previously worked in retail and customer care and have run a parent and toddler group, youth group and children’s clubs including Scouts on a voluntary basis. I have a Fd(A) in Early Years Education.
I was widowed in 2008, and have a teenage son, who is currently in foster care due to my ill health. I see him regularly and am incredibly proud of the amazing young man he is growing into. He struggled for significant periods with separation anxiety and generalised anxiety, low mood and OCD intrusive thoughts, but is currently managing his symptoms amazingly, doing well at school, has good friends, and has recently parted company with CAMHS as he is so well. Additionally he has a fledgling career in web development and dreams of studying computer science at uni. (Disclaimer; he was not in any way involved in development of my blog site. I continually struggle with the technology all by myself!) Because of the sensitive nature of my journal-style blogging and tweeting, both accounts are anonymous and my son is unable to access them. Incidentally for the same reason, any postings may contain triggering material associated with childhood sexual and emotional abuse, self harm, suicide, bereavement, separation, domestic abuse and mental distress.
For relaxation I enjoy singing (choirs and BV), reading, writing, photography, cooking, swimming and spending time with my very cute pet gerbils (8 at present). I love drinking tea, eating cake or chocolate, and consume more-than-healthy amounts of cola. I holiday (in the UK) as often as I can afford and book in spa breaks or treatments regularly if possible. Self-care rules! I spend as much time as possible with my son, and have a great relationship with my dad who I see often.
I have begun blogging for three reasons. A) It is a therapeutic activity for my own benefit. B) Friends who have read my musings say I have gift for expressing myself through written word, and C) Both friends and I have faith that others can benefit from my blogs. I hope so.
Angel x

Update for 2020

While much of my background remains the same, there are some key changes since I started blogging, a good while ago now.

I’m very happy to report my son is now back home where he belongs, although at 20, not at university as we once expected, but working in church leadership with responsibilities for media and youth work. Also does one day a week for a popular supermarket chain, which is handy for discount on my grocery shop! He continues to be an incredible young man who inspires me constantly.

As I have watched his journey of faith explode, my own has dwindled; rarely if ever attending church now. Strangely I don’t really miss it either.

My hobbies are much the same although I’m not currently swimming. And singing is limited to within my four walls, thanks to Covid. Bring back choir!

Sadly I no longer have my dear dad around. Nor do I keep gerbils any longer.

My ongoing journey through mental health challenges, physical disability, widowhood and life generally, obviously continues with all the ups and downs those involve.

But I’m still here, and I’m grateful for that, because I’ve survived times when I wasn’t at all sure that staying alive was either a positive or an achievable option.

I think my aims for the blog that I set out at the beginning are still relevant and I believe continue to be achieved.

Keep enjoying reading.

Angel 👼🏻

Update for December 2023

I continue to live with bipolar 2, EUBPD, anxiety, chronic pain, HS, IBS. migraine, rhinitis and mobility difficulties. Mostly I am keeping afloat, but menopause is currently making life more of a challenge.

I was married at the end of 2022 and my husband moved in May. My son is now living independently for the first time and has switched jobs from church leadership to deputy manager in a local gym. He is still doing incredibly well.

My husband’s contract with the railway was terminated on ill health grounds as he is suffering with depression, anxiety and PTSD. This has been a huge loss for him. His occupation, his purpose, his social network and his income have all been affected. In addition to the stress of moving and settling in a new place. It has taken its toll.

I spend more time focused on my husband’s wellbeing than I ever imagined. I work hard to try to keep up my self care routines, but our reduced income has been problematic. I try to get to the gym a couple of times a week and still enjoy getting my nails done every few weeks. I still love to write and sing, but singing is still just indoors. Choir doesn’t fit with my lifestyle currently. We do have a motorhome and get away as much as is practical. We adopted a lovely moggy in September who is a stripy delight. She fits with us so well. My love of tea and cake remains, however I try to keep cake in moderation these days; keep those sugars in check.

As always thanks for reading and your ongoing support.

Angel 👼🏻