When I was a little girl, many, many moons ago, my mother told me, “You’re like me, I can’t draw either”. And as harsh as that sounds to tell a child, I’m actually not great at drawing. Or painting. In fact at secondary school I took cookery as my creative subject, because I’d never really flourished in art, design and textiles, or needlework. Only one art teacher spotted anything really positive in my drawings, and repeatedly praised my ‘bold sense of pattern’. Apparently a classic neurodivergent trait, but who knew about such things in the 80s? Especially in girls.

Apart from making my first wedding dress when I was 19 (didn’t flourish in needlework!) I didn’t really dabble in any kind of creative activities then until I was incarcerated in the psych hospital during my 20s. I tried all sorts of things at the occupational therapy unit, and in day hospital, from cross stitch, to glass painting, to quilling, clay modelling, drawing, painting, decoupage, and probably many more I’m unable to recall, thanks to the chemical cosh they called treatment back in the day. It was one of the few upsides to weeks on end in hospital; getting to try myriad crafts I would never have had the means to pursue otherwise. They definitely helped pass time, and some I really enjoyed, but I didn’t take up any as regular hobbies.

Throughout my adult years my creativity was expressed through singing and baking. And writing. I’ve written poems and stories all my life to be fair. And have been blogging about 10 years. It’s an incredibly effective outlet. It’s also a permanent reminder of how far I’ve come. Should I ever be in doubt.

My Christmas crafting began less than 2 years ago. I think before that I’d felt that maybe Christmas crafts were for, say October to December. Maybe November and December. Because I’ve always had an obsession with Christmas decorations, and Christmas in general, I’d got so used to being told, “It’s not Christmas yet!” Or, “Save it for December”. Most people don’t really grasp my passion for Christmas decorations. Especially not all year round! It’s only now I feel I can be my authentic Christmas obsessed self. It’s not hurting anyone.

I’ve had so much fun creating dioramas, scenes and shadow boxes. I’ve loved giving ancient decorations a new lease of life. But for a long time I’d harboured a desire to make a bauble wreath. I finally bought some preloved baubles and researched on Pinterest how I should proceed. I fairly naively set to work with my mini glue gun. Goodness knows how many blisters later I had a finished product I was pleased with. More than pleased. Delighted. I had made something I loved and felt proud of. I was making another before the glue had barely set! I’ve now made 9, and I love them all, even the one I class as a ‘second’ because of some minor imperfections.

As I posted my bauble wreaths on social media, I began to receive positive feedback. I began to receive enquiries as to whether they were for sale. Did I take commissions? I was frankly blown away by the comments. People seemed to really like them. They are unique, asymmetrical, random, quirky. I love them, but I really wasn’t sure others would. I sold one to friends. They absolutely loved it. I was so relieved! I worried myself silly that it wasn’t good enough. I had to ask Martin to set the price because I didn’t believe they were saleable. Gosh, this has been a steep learning curve!

I remember, a long time ago, when my first husband’s first nephew was born. I sewed a gorgeous cross stitch new baby card. My brother in law and his wife seemed pleasantly surprised at how lovely it was, and how beautifully I’d stitched it. It was back in the bad old days of the mental health day hospital. My then husband hated them making a fuss about the card, and my skill in particular, and rather unkindly said, “Well if she hadn’t been doing that, they’d have had her weaving a basket!” And in that moment my joy was snuffed out as the 3 of them raucously laughed at me.

When I first met Martin he said he didn’t really do Christmas. I said if he was going to be with me, that would have to change. Celebrating Christmas is a non negotiable in my book. And although he still has some Grinchy moments, he totally appreciates how precious Christmas is to me. From the production of the first bauble wreath he has been totally on board. In fact my biggest cheerleader. He’s just made a significant investment in baubling resources so that not only can I continue to create wreaths, but I can also safely package and send them to their new homes. I can’t even begin to express how much that means to me. I’ve been moved to tears by his kindness and unwavering support. Things I’ve not experienced before. It’s such a blessing. And I’ve discovered a creative hobby that causes me to feel I’ve finally found my niche and brings year-round Christmas joy to this weird little heart.