I apologise now for how incredibly uninspired that sounds. Buying myself a new coat shouldn’t be a big deal. But oh my goodness, I feel like it’s taking over some days. I can’t even remember how long I’ve been searching now for a suitable replacement for my current coat, but believe me, it’s been a good while.

Let me tell you about my coat. It’s really nothing outstanding, but to me, it’s perfect. It is green. Light khaki colour to be specific. Not too military looking khaki green. It has a cotton canvas exterior, with grey marl cotton jersey lining. The sleeves have polyester lining, but I can live with that. It is not padded. Although it’s a summer weight coat I wear it year round, just adding a hat and scarf if the weather is particularly cold. Being menopausal I’m more likely to be warm than chilly. But in summer it is breathable and cool enough to pull on in case of inclement weather. My coat has a hood, which I really value as a spectacle wearer when it rains. There’s no drawstring in the hood, but it mostly stays put when up, provided it’s not stupidly windy. It’s not actually a waterproof coat, but it’s usually showerproof enough for what I need to do. It has zip and popper front fastening. A drawstring at the waist. And although it has parka-esqe qualities, it doesn’t have annoying strings at the back (just waiting to launch themselves into any given public toilet). My coat is comfy, a little on the generous size since I lost some weight, and more importantly, it feels just right. Sadly it now has a slightly distressed look in places where the colour has faded, and the bottom hem and cuffs are a tad threadbare. It looks scruffy. But despite my most concerted efforts, as yet I have been unable to find a suitable replacement.

My previous coat was from Tu at Sainsbury’s. I forget how many years ago now I replaced it with my current one. That was also lightweight green cotton with a cotton lining and a drawstring waist. In fact, despite the cotton lining being thinner and prettier than in the current coat, as I recall, it was much the same as I have now. Which is also by Tu. I ongoing lament that I have not been able to find a similar coat at Sainsbury’s for a couple of years at least now. And believe me I’ve looked!

When I started using Vinted to sell unwanted clothes, I noticed a green coat for sale one day. It looked a lot like my coat. I bought it, excitedly hoping I’d found a suitable replacement for mine. But alas. It wasn’t to be. I repeated the process a few times, subsequently, but every time another coat arrived, my disappointment increased. The fabric wasn’t right, it was too warm, the hood wasn’t practical, it didn’t fasten how I wanted it to. My frustration just multiplied. Never previously in my life had I had such a problem finding a coat I liked and was comfortable in. But suddenly nothing felt right.

I’ve always had issues with labels, seams, hanging loops etc in clothes irritating me. I mean I can’t even bear my own hair on my face. But the search for a replacement coat is on a whole new level.

Martin commented on my need for another green coat, and I understand why he said that. But the colour actually isn’t the primary consideration. In fact sludgy greens aren’t my favourite. But it seems coats in the style I desire often seem to be manufactured in that colour. I wouldn’t particularly want a darker shade of khaki. Or yellow, mustard, rust or brown. I’d actually prefer not to have black or navy, because I feel they’d be too hot in the Spring sunshine. But I’m open to other colours.

In fact I currently am trialing a pink coat I bought from Vinted. It looks nice. But I really don’t love it. It feels uncomfortable . It has buttons instead of poppers over the zip. And they’re really fiddly. They irritate me. The pockets are wrong. They’re slanted and I feel like things (namely my phone) will fall out. Especially when I get in and out of the car. And while the coat is 100% cotton, it is completely unlined, so at the moment, is not quite warm enough. Oh and today I noticed it has a drawstring in the bottom hem, and the toggles annoyingly bounce against my legs when I walk. In short; it. doesn’t. feel. right.

Right now, I feel like there must be something properly wrong with me. Choosing and buying a new coat really shouldn’t be this hard. I’ve lost count of the amount of online and actual shops I’ve browsed trying to find a coat that suits my needs. Is my inflexibility a reflection of my neurosparkly need for the familiar? And why do simple details of a garment nearly drive me to distraction? Is it the way I process the feel/touch of certain materials on my skin? I’m not sure if when I finally have my autism assessment any of these things will begin to make sense.

Any if anyone sees a nice cotton coat, size 18/20, features as described above, please let me know!