I am a complicated woman of simple desires and my hopes for the future reflect this. I aim to stay alive for a while yet.

Not so long ago the average life expectancy for someone with bipolar disorder was 59. And I’m already 53. Thankfully that life expectancy has risen in recent years to 67, but that’s still 13 years less than the average UK woman. I’m aware I’m very overweight which isn’t doing myself any favours, but I am doing better than I was. I would love to be able to keep type 2 diabetes at bay as long as I can. I’ve reversed prediabetes once, my aim is to keep it that way.

Something else important to me is to keep my mental health as stabilised as possible. I’m aware that bipolar can be difficult to control in older age, which causes me a level of anxiety. Currently a good combination of medication, lifestyle and self care is working well for me, and I really hope I can hold on to that equilibrium. I hate that ultimately my brain chemicals rule my life. And medications can cease to be effective at any given moment. A lot of radical acceptance is required on my part.

I am blessed to have a lovely husband. It would be amazing if both our mental and physical health conditions were adequately under control and maybe life circumstances could give us a break so we could have a little more fun together. I want us to have great adventures, eat great food, have great sex, laugh together, make awesome memories.

And I would love to see my son married and have children. If that’s what he wants of course. Most importantly I wish him happiness and fulfilment. Because he deserves it, and so much more.

I don’t have any wild ambitions. I mean I’ve even accepted I’ll probably never be a plus sized fetishwear model now. But I’m ok. I have family and friends who love me and that’s the most amazing thing.