I’ve been feeling a bit weird about receiving comments on photos on my socials regarding my weight loss recently. I know they are well intentioned but I feel uncomfortable about it, and here’s why. Since I lost 13kg in the run up to the wedding, I have subsequently put about 8kg back on. That in itself is my issue; I revelled in the loss, I take responsibility for the gain. But to be ongoing praised for weight loss I haven’t sustained is just wrong in my mind.

I originally undertook my healthier eating project in an attempt to reverse pre-diabetes, which I succeeded in doing. Any weight or inches lost were a bonus. Incredibly despite being incapable of maintaining said loss, my blood sugars remain lowered, which is wonderful.

Having in the past experienced issues with food, I am always very aware that any attempts on my part to lose weight must be done when I am in a reasonably stable mental state. Too high or too low I’m likely struggling to eat anyway. I need an element of strength and positivity to start a healthy eating plan.

So here I am. After a rather catastrophic start to the year health wise, I’m finally back in the gym, and I’ve made the bold decision to start logging my dietary intake again. I’m so thankful for a handy app that takes the effort out of calorie counting and food diarising. I will be doing a weekly weigh in for my own benefit to track my progress, and hopefully, given time I’ll feel like my weight loss is back on track. And that I deserve any praise I receive.

I’m also aware that if the rogue tooth kicks off again I may not be able to train for a while and what I eat will be determined by its consistency and not by its calories. But I’ll face that as and when. Fitter, healthier and stronger remain my goals. Posting gym pics are for accountability reasons. Motivational memes are aimed primarily at myself. Because as lovely as a bit of encouragement is, this is me, doing it for me.