I’m almost afraid to say it. I feel like writing it down puts the kiss of death on my potential romantic liaisons. But here I am. After a series of crap encounters with the one who didn’t comprehend consent (and had a filthy infection), the invisible man, and the creator of improbable excuses, plus another online dalliance with Filthy Bloke (no-longer-in-Stoke) I seem to have met a decent man. I was beginning to wonder if such a thing even existed. I mean even my previous relationships were characterised by control, manipulation and abuse.

Yet I still cling to hope that a good man exists who will adore my crazy, celebrate my insane sex drive and love my perfect imperfections. It’s a lot to ask. But I have such a good heart, so much love to give the right person.

I met someone. It’s been five and a half weeks, so incredibly early days. We’ve seen each other five times. And if anybody read my slightly embarrassing love poem, I guess you could say I’m rather fond of him. The first night we met I felt at ease. Safe in his arms. The intimacy was intoxicating. I didn’t get home till the morning. Slut.

If anything alarmed me, it was the sense of déjà vu I got comparing this experience to my first night with the man called Dave. Definitely not the kind of relationship I wish to revisit. The other similarities include the distance between us and his long and unpredictable working hours. But as a person, he’s very different.

He’s honest. He talks to me. And listens to my babble. He’s kind. Always helping others. I sense he wants to help and protect me, but my fiercely independent inner survivor isn’t quite ready to let her guard down yet. I’ve noticed over the short weeks he’s gone from questioning my daily physical and emotional struggles, to quietly accepting that’s just how I am. He now needs to learn not to back away when things are challenging me because that’s when I need him most. And in addition to his words, I need his touch. Doesn’t have to be sexual; a hug, a hand to hold. And a cuppa to drink.

I can do nothing more than be myself and see what transpires. I have a real sense that we were both very ready to meet someone so I can only hope we turn out to be the right someone for each other. And I believe we both really deserve some happiness so we will see what the future holds.