It’s getting on for six months now since the gentleman formerly introduced to you as Graduation Man subtly appeared in my life. I think from now on, I’ll refer to him as Dave. That is, after all, his name. I will, at some point, disclose more about our unorthodox friendship, but first, a little something from November.

Six weeks after meeting Dave, and spending increasingly more time with him, he announced to me, that after Christmas he was being moved for work to Lincolnshire. I had absolutely no clue at that time, how that may play out. All I could focus on was how cruel life could be, that having found someone who made me feel alive for the first time in I can’t remember when, they should be relocated a few hundred miles away (when I experience travel anxiety).

I was at the time attending a creative writing course, and it was our usual procedure to free write for a certain length of time at the outset to warm up. This is my free writing from 15th November 2018 having spent the previous day and night with Dave and learning his future plans.

“Don’t you dare disappear on me now I’ve found you. I’ll stamp my feet and have a tantrum, because frankly, it’s not fair. You turned up in my life, turned upside down my life, you just can’t go again.

You have been my enabler, my facilitator, and so much more. We’ve watched my confidence grow – together we’ve watched it. You saying I’ve done it, but me knowing that without you it would never have happened.

In the near darkness I watch your chest rise and fall. The familiar sound of your breathing comforts me. I’m not alone. Please don’t leave me alone.

Only you have ever made me feel the things I’ve felt. Only you have taken me to such delicious places and I can’t bear the thought of losing that bond between us. You laughed when I described us as unorthodox, but that’s what we are. We don’t fit the mould. We forge our own path. And what a path!

Early morning light and a hand appears on my body. Soothing my fears, calming my alone-ness. My body responds to your touch, in that familiar way, and I melt my form into yours, two bodies become the divine one. How could I give this up? My heart would shatter into a billion pieces. Please don’t do that to me.”

Well he went. It was best for his company. It was best for his grown children. But the good news is, he still has his home here and gets back as often as he can. Sometimes he’s still required to work locally so I still get to see a fair bit of him.

I miss him. But it’s ok. Sort of.

👼🏻